A joyful elderly couple holding hands while walking together, symbolizing lasting love, faithfulness, and a strong Christian marriage
A joyful elderly couple holding hands while walking together, symbolizing lasting love, faithfulness, and a strong Christian marriage

Introduction: Then vs Now in Marriage

Have you ever taken a moment to ask yourself why marriage and courtship today seem so different from what our parents and grandparents experienced?

In our current generation, the rate of marital breakdowns, domestic violence, and divorce is alarming. We live in an era where technology, education, and relationship advice are readily available — yet the institution of marriage is more fragile than ever.

Our forefathers lived in times when courtship was minimal or non-existent, yet many of their marriages stood the test of time. Today, despite the widespread acceptance of dating, romantic compatibility tests, and even premarital sex, relationships crumble faster than ever.

So, what went wrong?

The Rise of Courtship and the Fall of True Connection

Courtship is not a bad thing. In fact, godly courtship before marriage can be a healthy way to know someone, build trust, and lay a solid foundation. However, the way many people approach courtship today is far from God's original intention.

This generation often sees courtship as a trial period rather than a time of spiritual preparation. Many say things like:

"I can’t marry someone without testing if they’re good in bed."
"I need to live with them first before I decide."
"We must try everything before we commit."

Unfortunately, this mindset has led to:

  • High rates of cohabitation without commitment

  • Premarital sex and unwanted pregnancies

  • Emotional trauma and trust issues

  • Increased infidelity even after marriage

  • Short-lived marriages and quick divorces

Instead of laying a foundation of faith, purpose, and godly counsel, many relationships today are built on feelings, sexual attraction, and unrealistic expectations — all of which fade over time.

Why Did the Marriages of Our Forefathers Last Longer?

Despite the lack of formal courtship or dating apps, our forefathers’ marriages often lasted decades. Here’s why:

  1. Marriage was seen as a covenant, not a contract.
    It was a sacred union before God, not just a social agreement.

  2. Roles and responsibilities were respected.
    Husbands were providers and protectors. Wives were builders and nurturers of the home.

  3. They endured hardship together.
    Divorce was not the first option when challenges came.

  4. They relied on community and godly values.
    Elders, spiritual leaders, and family members were involved in guiding young couples.

Today, we have isolated marriages, broken families, and a “me first” culture that leaves little room for patience, forgiveness, and sacrifice.

What Is God’s Original Plan for Marriage?

Let’s go back to the beginning — Genesis 2:24 (KJV):

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

This verse shows that God designed marriage to be:

  • Between one man and one woman

  • A permanent union

  • A spiritual, emotional, and physical bond

  • A foundation for family and society

When we move away from this design, we invite confusion, pain, and brokenness into something that was meant to bring joy and purpose.

The Role of Courtship in a Christian Relationship

Yes, Christian courtship still has a role today — but only when it’s approached with intentionality and spiritual maturity.

Godly courtship should be:

  • Prayerful: Seek God’s guidance from the start.

  • Purposeful: Date with marriage in view, not just emotional or physical satisfaction.

  • Pure: Maintain sexual purity as a way to honour God and protect your heart.

  • Accountable: Involve mentors, spiritual leaders, and trusted family.

When you court the godly way, you're not just testing the waters — you’re building a foundation for a lifetime.

Conclusion: What’s Your Own Definition of Marriage?

Now, let me ask you:
What is your own definition of marriage?
Is it shaped by culture, social media, or God’s Word?

Marriage is not a joke. It is not just about weddings, rings, or romance. It’s about purpose, partnership, and covenant.

If we want better marriages, we must return to the Author of marriage — God Himself.
It’s time to build our relationships on truth, not trends.

Please drop your thoughts in the comment section. Let’s learn, grow, and help restore broken homes by starting with the truth.

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